Why is it still today that saying you are an expert on a specific topic, excellent and experienced or accomplished at certain tasks, makes you a show off? Does it come from some puritanical doctrine that you mustn’t big yourself up? Perhaps, it stems from an unquestioned belief that you will be punished if you speak well about yourself? Some people say that to give yourself credit for your hard work, talents and achievements is not polite. Well, whatever you believe – it is well over due to release these false paradigms from your vocabulary and mind.
-Why Saying What You Are Good At Is Not Showing Off –
And here comes the double edged sword story. Have you noticed the extraordinary number of people – especially women who do not give themselves the credit for all the amazing things they do? They play it down, hand the credit to someone else – often a man. Some women believe they don’t even deserve the attention, recognition or kudos for their success. How many remember being told in one form or another that it just isn’t classy to push yourself? To stand out, brag about your success or blow your own trumpet? For example, it is now well documented that women have been sorely under represented in receiving the Nobel prize because of gender bias . It is important to remember Why Saying What You Are Good At Is Not Showing Off.
-Believe you can and you are half way there – Theodore Roosevelt
Let’s be clear, I am not advocating an arrogant or snobbish manner but just pure healthy confidence and pride at what you have accomplished! When we observe tennis champions, dancers, or great actors receive an award for their achievements, we congratulate them. If you win a prize, receive a testimonial or brilliant review for your book you would also receive congratulations. So why oh why, do we still frown, draw back from someone who says: ‘I am good at this!’
-Don’t let your mind bully your body – June Tomaso Wood
If you are in sales, you know that singing the praises of your product or service is the core of your work. If you go for an interview or audition (see last weeks blog) you know you have to put your best foot forward and demonstrate the best you can be. It seems obvious that when you meet someone for the first time you want to present to them your best features. Not in a false or I am totally perfect manner – but naturally. It is our instinct to want to give the best of ourselves.
So, if I stick up for myself, Big my self up, would you consider me a show-off?
And If I say I am good at something, perhaps a subject I have studied, researched, invested in, and become a professional – would you still say I was showing off – blowing my own trumpet?
In my coaching work, I emphasise the importance of developing your confidence, courage and creativity. Three essential ingredients that make you feel great about yourself. Three vital points to recognise your expertise in your field so you really understand Why Saying What You Are Good At Is Not Showing Off!
For more information and insights into my coaching packages, jump on the work with me page here. Read the testimonials too!
Early religious teachings, especially Catholic, and upbringing – especially for more impressionable,passive children…are usually to blame. The mores of the times during a child’s formation also play a part. Trust me… xx
Such a shame that was the directive…But you showed them your talents! 🙂
I think it is the normal way of introducing our talent or special abilities .Life in nature itself is the biggest show off. Look at the flowers, birds or even elephants and an endless number of other creatures. Often its matter of life or death. “Yes and for us as well, it is our instinct to want to give the best of ourselves” Being our self is not a cheap show off. To do it creatively, well timed and successfully also is matter of a learnable skill or talent. To have a voice and sing or speak with it is a basic tool of communication, is that also showing off? . Again, brilliantly you showed your exceptional ability to see the essence of human behaviour and to show it to others.
Yes, the birds and the bees do it and even flowers and elephants too ….Thank you for adding that- it is so true! 🙂
It is, surely, part of human nature. We write, paint, sculpt, fashion, design, invent, make all manner of objects to, not only make money, but to please, fulfil and express ourselves! And what person doesn’t like to be praised for our labours! Those who act, teach, entertain or advise give even more to their various skills, so why shouldn’t they receive appropriate praise and be proud of their achievements ?
Exactly my point Joy! How else can we express, communicate our beautiful art, achievements and successes???? By sharing and showing them to the world with a smile and sense of pride in our work!!! 🙂
Great blog and so true. I know myself particularly although I know I am good at what I do I still feel a sense of imposter syndrome!
I wish I had the confidence to shout it from the hilltops!
Thanks Julie for your response and yes – you are not alone – too many of us go down that comparing road…. So now you want to shout it from the the hill tops Thats the first step! keep going, keep practising you will get there! 🙂