Some time ago, a friend of mine expressed her fear and dread of having to speak at her brothers wedding.
‘How can I get out of it?’ she asked. ‘You must know what I can say to not have to speak? Please?’
It was one of those crazy moments. All I could think about was why would you want to avoid an opportunity to Step Up & Stand Out? My guess it was really about The Balance Between Confidence and Competence.
Let me explain. Now this friend of mine is an excellent Chef-ess, she can spin a whisk and make a soufflé that is light and delicious. She can whip a bunch of eggs into a divine floating omelette. Her skills fascinate me and the results even more. She is the Queen of Whisks! She has flair, experience and confidence. When she is in her element, you see an exquisite balance of confidence and competence .
…by stretching yourself beyond your perceived level of confidence you accelerate your development of competence – Michael Gelb
We all have this ability to balance confidence and competence. It is all part of our learning curve, the decisions we make and the courage we have to move on our dreams and goals.
I said to the Chef-ess, ‘I understand I would feel nervous if I had to whisk up a feast to impress. But, I would rather hold a microphone than a whisk.
-The more you learn, the more you earn – Warren Buffett
My point is to use the confidence we have gathered in one skill in other areas of our lives. Obviously, I cannot become a mistress of whisks in five minutes and neither can she become a Keynote Speaker in ten minutes. But I can certainly carry a confident energy with me and portray a convincing, fearless and up beat manner in anything I do in life. It is all about The Balance between Confidence and Competence.
Speaking in public is like speaking up for yourself, standing up for your opinions and ideas.
Here are 7 skills to exercise.
– Learning from our mistakes
– Making smart decisions
– Getting big on self-belief
– Living outside our comfort zone
– Recognising our financial value
– Investing in ourselves
– Benefits of self-care
I use this story often when I work with my clients and I ask them how they feel about the balance of confidence and competence. Because I want to know is it – Confidence and Competence they are fighting to balance?
I suggest a read of this widely acclaimed book, studying The Balance between Confidence and Competence in women and girls. http://theconfidencecode.com/
-Maturity is largely about acquiring the confidence and the competence to make your own decisions – Susan Maushart
Check out this blog to get some more Gems about confidence.
If you feel this is something you would like to improve on – develop a stronger balance and use your confidence in other areas of your life – then do not hesitate to contact me. Check on the button below.
I love this: “Maturity is largely about acquiring the confidence and the competence to make your own decisions” – Susan Maushart
Yes, the excellence of both assets rely on some talents but they are also nourish our awareness, consistent work and practice, through making our own decisions. The healthy self confidence is the fruit of numerous different decision exercises. Nothing characterises us better than our own choices, selections and expressed opinions. I´m grateful for your consistently useful writings. Thank you.
Thank you for being such a consistent blog commentator!
A little – a lot… like early rote learning the wrong things, misgivings and habits/traits/brain washings.,.. are difficult to forget or change! Obviously, we are all wired up differently. Take three children I know, born to the same couple. The first has a fertile, searching mind and intellect but is very sensitive and shy; the second is physically more active – more of the bull in the proverbial; and the third is confident and ambitious…Nature or nurture? I’d go for a mixture of the two. Many of us need an ‘encourager’ in our lives to liven things up and remind us of our strengths and work on our weaknesses , so thank you Georgia!
Oh I think I know those three! Such a sharp descriptive author you are. Love your angles!