Some time ago, a friend of mine expressed her fear and dread of having to speak at her brothers wedding.
‘How can I get out of it?’ she asked. ‘You must know what I can say to not have to speak? Please?’
It was one of those crazy moments. All I could think about was why would you want to avoid an opportunity to Step Up & Stand Out? My guess it was really about The Balance Between Confidence and Competence. 

Let me explain. Now this friend of mine is an excellent Chef-ess, she can spin a whisk and make a soufflé that is light and delicious. She can whip a bunch of eggs into a divine floating omelette. Her skills fascinate me and the results even more. She is the Queen of Whisks! She has flair, experience and confidence. When she is in her element, you see an exquisite balance of confidence and competence .

…by stretching yourself beyond your perceived level of confidence you accelerate your development of competence – Michael Gelb

We all have this ability to balance confidence and competence. It is all part of our learning curve, the decisions we make and the courage we have to move on our dreams and goals.

I said to the Chef-ess, ‘I understand I would feel nervous if I had to whisk up a feast to impress. But, I would rather hold a microphone than a whisk. 

-The more you learn, the more you earn – Warren Buffett

My point is to use the confidence we have gathered in one skill in other areas of our lives. Obviously, I cannot become a mistress of whisks in five minutes and neither can she become a Keynote Speaker in ten minutes. But I can certainly carry a confident energy with me and portray a convincing, fearless and up beat manner in anything I do in life. It is all about The Balance between Confidence and Competence.

Speaking in public is like speaking up for yourself, standing up for your opinions and ideas.
Here are 7 skills to exercise.

– Learning from our mistakes
– Making smart decisions
– Getting big on self-belief
– Living outside our comfort zone
– Recognising our financial value
– Investing in ourselves
– Benefits of self-care

I use this story often when I work with my clients and I ask them how they feel about the balance of confidence and competence. Because I want to know is it – Confidence and Competence they are fighting to balance?

I suggest a read of this widely acclaimed book, studying The Balance between Confidence and Competence in women and girls.

-Maturity is largely about acquiring the confidence and the competence to make your own decisions –  Susan Maushart

Check out this blog to get some more Gems about confidence.

If you feel this is something you would like to improve on – develop a stronger balance and use your confidence in other areas of your life – then do not hesitate to contact me. Check on the button below.

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